In 2006, I started this thing because of my affinity for guitars. It was a feeling so strong that for years before I accepted the terms of agreement for this website, I felt I should make a profession out of it. In 2007, while a Junior in college, I started to intern for a guitar company and my posting frequency (with what little precedence of dependability I created) began to dwindle. In August of 2008 I became a full time employee working for said guitar company. After that, you could see the posts became oriented to notion I was coming to — realizing my favorite thing was just a business.
Within the servers of this website are some unfinished drafts. Drafts of the thoughts I had while my brain went through the machinations of making this warm shelter of guitars I’d housed myself in into a cold industrial building (sometimes literally). Guitars became a job.
I’d go to sleep and wake up thinking about guitars; I’d go to work and talk guitars; I’d build guitars, working on and in guitars; the money I made went to buying guitars; the people I idolized all worked with guitars; my calendar revolved around guitars; I would read about guitars, watch videos of guitars and in the end did nothing but resent all of it.
A few weeks ago, I lost it. Something changed and I had no desire to build guitars. I never thought that I would get dejected and frustrated every time I looked at the thing I was in charge of creating. I was a race car driver waiting for the bus. I spent 5 years learning to be as good as I could within whatever I was doing, and I didn’t care.
Friday, I quit. I packed my car up with my tools, I cleaned up my workbench and left the building. I’ll be back there, programming myself out of everything I’d spent five years programming myself into but my life for the guitar is over. Now “guitar” is now just another language I know. I can express some thoughts through a few strings and my hands, I can draw pictures and express ideas in it, but it’s not all I am. That’s where I’m going from here. I’ve spent 5 years looking at life through a guitar catalog, and it’s time for something else.
In all honesty, this may be my last post in here or the first of numerous. I bought a camera, I’m going to get some new tires on my car, and I’m going to see things. I may share them here or start fresh somewhere else where I can figure out that I’m not only a guitarist.
I am now the recovering guitarist.